Kawan menjadi Lawan

i dont know how to start.. but i have to let this out... im really upset this time but i'll try not let my feeling turn me down so so down..

last 3 days was my 29th birthday.. as this far i think i had enough and try to life gratefully with my husband , kids and who ever around me... i'll love them all and also my friends....
on my birthday i received a lots of wishes from friends thru Facebook and sms... and im so so happy with that... its only simple wishes but i do appreciate... i dun really expect a wish came from my high school friends becoz its a long-long lost friends and when i do get wishes from them im really happy and think that im the lucky one, because on this age ... sumtimes make us far from these people (yeah times flies) every one had they own life... and thing to taking care of and i really dont give a damn if no one wish me cos i've my dearest family to celebrate.

its start on late night of my birthday... around 11pm , i've recieved a sms from my high school besties.. the smsed sound like ,

happy belated
semoga sihat selalu

i almost fall asleep that time but then i reply with 'Thanx you"... but i was wondering why she saying belated??? dont she look at the time, tak dek jam kah hp dia??? its still my birthday.. so im assuming that shes not really know my birth date.. but i dont care... coz i was forget bout others too. but i've the feeling that some one is not sincere here (she's my high school besties - i always had a feeling)

on the next morning my others besties ask me, did my girl friend wish me... so the answer is yes la kan.. so he start to story about what is happening ....
he tells me that my girl friends having krusus in Vistana Hotel Kl and he smsed her asking her whater she ever wish me cuz today is my birthday...
and my girl friends said that she do remember my birthday but shes in hurry in the lecture room and dont have time to wish. but promised to wish me letter.
and yeah i do received the wish but on belated... what ever i dun really care...
but what the most important here is she is not doing it by her own intention right??? obvious kan?? ke aku jek yg feeling lebih...

k not only that , my boy friends also sharing an email that he received from my besties (girl friends) and email tu sound lebih kurang macam ni la,

i dah email yan wish her birthday time tu dah lewat tapi she reply say thanks, at least she reply kan heheheheh...

mase birthday i , how many kwn kite yg wish i??? tak de kut? heheh paham semua ade hal memasing..

lagi dah x ingat sbb he sharing this thru YM.. tapi jelas nya my feeling is right...
ooo tak ikhlas ke??? la x pe lah tak payah la susah payah nk wish... emppp

sedih sbb shes my best friends in sek. men.

she's mmg berubah sejak lepas SPM dulu...tak tahu kenape... and ayat dia pun semakin macam ade x puas ati ngan aku.. cam aku ade rampas laki atau bf dia... oopss actualy my besties girl ni pernah couple ngan my besties boy.. tp jodoh x panjang so... derang clash then my gal friends pun da kawen ngan ngan org lain.. tapi dua-dua ni rase masih ade feeling 2 lagi sbb clash bukan sebab derang tp ade kes yg sangkut paut ngan family gak.... lepas tuh lah aku perasan dia pun berubah ngan aku sekali kene...

actualy lame gak dia sentap ngan aku, aku ni pun baru jek baik baik and again aku jugak yg amek first steps sms dia... kalo tunggu dia... mmg dah di buang aku ni jejauh...
takpe lah...

again di tekankan i try to live gratefully with my life, and family.. i had most loving husband and anak2 sepasang yg comei dan bijak.. kawan2 yg appreciate aku , my gorges siblings my parents and all my relatives.. so if i missed one wish yg x sincere from some one, aku mmg x heran... but anyway thank you sbb that really open my eyes..

aku x kan buang kawan or turn my friends to lawan or what not, cume aku tak akan buang mase fikir pasal org cemnih... nk terhegeh2 lagi sms , email ke nk ajak jumpe ke...gathering ke...
i nk avoid fake friendship...